My first movie trashing

OK, I've gotten my feet wet in this movie reviewing thing, but any movie reviewer worth a crap knows how to rip a movie apart. So that's my next challenge, and I've picked a good one. Monster's Ball.

1st of all, this in no way reflects on the Halle Berry sex scene. I mean, she won an Oscar for that frickin scene. That's how good she was. I didn't even care that you had to watch Billy Bob Thorton in a sex scene. That's how good she was. However, as good as those 45 seconds were, it doesn't make up for the other 111 minutes and 15 seconds of putridity.

OK, I'm totally gonna blow the plot for anyone who hasn't seen the movie yet, but I don't care cause you shouldn't watch it anyway. Billy Bob's a correctional officer at a prison. Halle Berry's husband is on death row. Billy Bob's on the squad that executes her husband. Billy Bob's son shoots himself cause he thinks his dad hates him (he does). Halle's kid gets hit by a car and dies. Both their kids are dead and Halle's husband is out of the way, so they start a "forbidden" relationship and sit around eating ice cream (I'm not joking about that). That's about it. Sounds like a good time, right?

I get it, OK? Billy Bob was a racist bastard who drove his son to kill himself, but becomes transformed when he meets this woman who he has something in common with. Let me ask you, who the heck wouldn't be transformed by Halle Berry? Huh?

Seriously though, I truly do not understand how this thing was nominated for any awards. I understand artsy or gritty movies are popular with the critics, and that's fine. I've seen Schindler's List. I've seen Crash. I've seen Million Dollar Baby. All those had some form of a redeeming quality. Aside from seeing Halle Berry's hoo-ha, I didn't find any in this film.

Final rating:
1 out of 5 naked Halle Berry's