We were having a talk at work and somehow we got onto the subject of Police Academy. Don't as me how. Anyway, we were all sitting around trying to think of the names of all the characters in the movie, so I did what I always do in those situations, I went to Wikipedia. It turns out, Police Academy was the 6th highest grossing movie of 1984 behind: 1. Beverly Hills Cop, 2. Ghostbusters, 3. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, 4. Gremlins, and 5. The Karate Kid. Now THAT'S a stout lineup of movies to come out in just one year. I did a little bit of digging and found some other classics that came out that year. Check this:
Amadeus won the Oscar for best picture. This is a fantastic film and probly in my top20 all time.
Bachelor Party and Splash came out. This is where Tom Hanks really hit his stride.
Apparently, and this isn't just from wikipedia, both Breakin' AND Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo came out this year. Has a movie and it's sequel ever been released in the same year?!? This is crazy!!
I can't even describe the rest in detail, the list is just to long. Here you go:
Children of the Corn, Footloose, Hot Dog...The Movie, Johnny Dangerously (under-rated), The Last Starfighter, Missing in Action, The Natural (top 5 all-time sports movie), The Neverending Story, Nightmare on Elm Street, Purple Rain, Red Dawn, Revenge of the Nerds, Romancing the Stone, Sixteen Candles, Starman, The Terminator, This is Spinal Tap and Top Secret!
Good Lord, that is one helluva list. I don't think I would have left the theaters in 1984 if I hadn't been learning to break graham crackers along the dotted line in kindergarten. Add to this the fact that actors like James Mason and Richard Burton, considered 2 of the Best. Actors. Ever. by basically everyone, died that year, and you have quite a historic time in film.
I have to do a bit more research before I proclaim 1984 as the greatest year ever in film history, but there better be some serious competition if it's gonna beat this list.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Just One of the Guys
OK, I've been pretty lazy about posting stuff, so I think I came up with a way to keep up with this movie blog thing. Since I go to trivia every Monday night and there are always 2 questions about movies, I'm gonna start doing a review of one of the movies the questions are based on. (Lesley, if you want me to review a movie, make up a question about it) Last nights choices are St. Elmo's Fire and Flight of the Navigator. (Do you feel it? I'm getting warm. I think I've got... 80'S FEVER!!) Since both of these are pretty crappy, but sentimental 80's movies, I figured I'd skip them and do a full-out review of my all-time favorite crappy 80's teen movie, Just One of the Guys.
A few notes about this movie before we start:
1. This was the first movie where I saw bare breasts. The importance of this cannot be overstated.
2. Billy Zabka plays the high school bully. He was Johnny in the Karate Kid. Fantastic 80's bad guy.
3. Billy Jayne plays sex-crazed little brother Buddy. Buddy is quite possibly my all time favorite character in a movie. I'm not kidding. He's up there with Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday, Christopher Walken as the Archangel Gabriel and Edward Norton as Aaron Stampler in Primal Fear. Billy Jayne is a comedy god.
OK, Terry Griffith is a popular high schooler who aspires to be a great writer, but she's not getting the respect she thinks she deserves. Everyone tells her she should think about doing something else, like be a model. She thinks that her writing isn't getting merit because she's a girl. What to do in this situation? Change schools, pretend to be a guy, profit. So she changes schools and becomes friends with Rick, a loner/none-to-popular guy who she sees potential in. Long story short, she begins to like him, makes him over and soon falls in love. At the end of the movie she professes her love, he thinks she's a gay guy, she flashes her boobs to show she's a girl, they live happily ever after. Whoopie!
The real story here is Buddy. Buddy is obsessed with sex, hey he's 15. I can't even begin to list how many Buddy scenes make me laugh out loud. No exageration, I think I laugh every time he's on the screen. Watch this movie for Buddy. If you've been to high school, you won't be disappointed.
Final score: 5 out of 5 sexually confused aspiring writers.
A few notes about this movie before we start:
1. This was the first movie where I saw bare breasts. The importance of this cannot be overstated.
2. Billy Zabka plays the high school bully. He was Johnny in the Karate Kid. Fantastic 80's bad guy.
3. Billy Jayne plays sex-crazed little brother Buddy. Buddy is quite possibly my all time favorite character in a movie. I'm not kidding. He's up there with Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday, Christopher Walken as the Archangel Gabriel and Edward Norton as Aaron Stampler in Primal Fear. Billy Jayne is a comedy god.
OK, Terry Griffith is a popular high schooler who aspires to be a great writer, but she's not getting the respect she thinks she deserves. Everyone tells her she should think about doing something else, like be a model. She thinks that her writing isn't getting merit because she's a girl. What to do in this situation? Change schools, pretend to be a guy, profit. So she changes schools and becomes friends with Rick, a loner/none-to-popular guy who she sees potential in. Long story short, she begins to like him, makes him over and soon falls in love. At the end of the movie she professes her love, he thinks she's a gay guy, she flashes her boobs to show she's a girl, they live happily ever after. Whoopie!
The real story here is Buddy. Buddy is obsessed with sex, hey he's 15. I can't even begin to list how many Buddy scenes make me laugh out loud. No exageration, I think I laugh every time he's on the screen. Watch this movie for Buddy. If you've been to high school, you won't be disappointed.
Final score: 5 out of 5 sexually confused aspiring writers.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Sweeny Todd
OK, prepare for lots of singing.
This flick was twisted, as are all of Tim Burton's movies. However, this was his first foray into musicals. Don't get me wrong, I really liked the movie, but damn, do you have to sing so friggin much?
You know the story. Sweeny Todd was a great barber in England until he got arrested on some trumped up charges so a judge could take his wife. So he decided to kill a lot of people and use their flesh to make meat pies. Same old story, right?
I TRULY liked this movie, but I've seen a lot of musicals. NONE of them had as much singing as this one. There is barely any dialogue. Johnny Depp is great. Helena Bohnam Carter is great. Alan Rickman is great. Ali G is great. But really....do you have to sing so much?
So, if you like musicals, this one's right up your alley. If you don't, you'll probably still like it cause Tim Burton is awesome.
Overall score: 4 out of 5 slit throats.
This flick was twisted, as are all of Tim Burton's movies. However, this was his first foray into musicals. Don't get me wrong, I really liked the movie, but damn, do you have to sing so friggin much?
You know the story. Sweeny Todd was a great barber in England until he got arrested on some trumped up charges so a judge could take his wife. So he decided to kill a lot of people and use their flesh to make meat pies. Same old story, right?
I TRULY liked this movie, but I've seen a lot of musicals. NONE of them had as much singing as this one. There is barely any dialogue. Johnny Depp is great. Helena Bohnam Carter is great. Alan Rickman is great. Ali G is great. But really....do you have to sing so much?
So, if you like musicals, this one's right up your alley. If you don't, you'll probably still like it cause Tim Burton is awesome.
Overall score: 4 out of 5 slit throats.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Mystery, Alaska
I'm constantly on all the sports websites reading about how my backup fantasy quarterback tripped in his driveway while getting the paper and is on injured reserve for the next 3 months. One article that pops up about once every 6 months is the topic of sports movies and how the all-time great one's rank. (espn is especially frequent with these articles, since they're owned by Disney and they put out a new sports movie every 11 seconds) So I though my next review would be about a sports movie I really like, but doesn't get much play in these discussions, Mystery, Alaska.
Mystery is a tiny town in northern Alaska that basically has 1 thing going for it. Every Saturday, the entire town gets together and watches the more athletic citizens participate in a pick-up hockey game entitled "The Saturday Game". Catchy, huh? Well, the guys who play in the game are really good. I mean, they've played basically every day for their entire lives. You know, like Canadians. So the town really takes this game seriously, they aren't playing around. One day, a former member of the town (Hank Azaria, the dude who did a bunch of voices on the Simpsons), who wrote an article about The Saturday Game in Sports Illustrated, comes home and informs them that he's set up a scrimmage with none other than the New York Rangers. Of course, the whole town goes nuts. More so than normal.
Russell Crowe turns in a pretty good performance as the town sheriff/passing defenseman. (I do give the guy a bit of a mulligan here. He's from Australia. Don't think they do much ice skating down under). And the legendary Burt Reynolds plays the judge/coach, pretty damn good job by him as well. One of my favorite performances is the cameo by Mike Myers, who plays a crazy Canadian hockey analyst.
Anyway, I'm not putting this up there with Hoosiers or Field of Dreams or anything, but it's a good, solid sports flick. It's funny, dramatic, the sports scenes are pretty good and it's got that whole David vs. Goliath thing going.
Final score: 3 3/4 out of 5 of Steve Yzerman's missing teeth.
Mystery is a tiny town in northern Alaska that basically has 1 thing going for it. Every Saturday, the entire town gets together and watches the more athletic citizens participate in a pick-up hockey game entitled "The Saturday Game". Catchy, huh? Well, the guys who play in the game are really good. I mean, they've played basically every day for their entire lives. You know, like Canadians. So the town really takes this game seriously, they aren't playing around. One day, a former member of the town (Hank Azaria, the dude who did a bunch of voices on the Simpsons), who wrote an article about The Saturday Game in Sports Illustrated, comes home and informs them that he's set up a scrimmage with none other than the New York Rangers. Of course, the whole town goes nuts. More so than normal.
Russell Crowe turns in a pretty good performance as the town sheriff/passing defenseman. (I do give the guy a bit of a mulligan here. He's from Australia. Don't think they do much ice skating down under). And the legendary Burt Reynolds plays the judge/coach, pretty damn good job by him as well. One of my favorite performances is the cameo by Mike Myers, who plays a crazy Canadian hockey analyst.
Anyway, I'm not putting this up there with Hoosiers or Field of Dreams or anything, but it's a good, solid sports flick. It's funny, dramatic, the sports scenes are pretty good and it's got that whole David vs. Goliath thing going.
Final score: 3 3/4 out of 5 of Steve Yzerman's missing teeth.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
True Romance
So I was sitting around thinking about what movie to review next when my mind wandered back to this classic. It's one of those movie's that came out, nobody went to see it, it stayed pretty underground for awhile, and then it seemed like everyone owned the DVD. Kinda like Dazed and Confused. What really surprises me about this film's path to popularity is how it did so little at the box office. Make no mistake, it still took in 11 mil, but when you look at who's in it (Christian Slater, Patricia Arquette, Christopher Walken, Dennis Hopper, Val Kilmer, Gary Oldman, Brad Pitt, Michael Rappaport, Balki Bartacomous, Sam Jackson, James Gandolfini, I mean, that's a murderer's row if I've ever seen one), who directed it (Tony Scott, who directed blockbusters like Top Gun, Beverly Hills Cop II and Man on Fire), and of course, who wrote it (Tarantino, in between Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction), it's surprising to me that this was such an underground movie for so long. I guess everyone was either on their way to fame and fortune (Pitt, Gandalfini & Tarantino) or a bit passed their prime (Slater, if he ever had one).
So you've got Clarence (Slater), and average guy who works at a comic book store, who meets Alabama (Arquette) at the movies. They hit it off pretty good and end up going home together. Then, Clarence finds out that Alabama's a hooker who his boss got him for his birthday. Despite this, they love each other anyway (love at first sight and all that) and get married. Clarence wants to go to Alabama's pimp's place and get her stuff (as well as take some revenge on the pimp. Apparently, his philosophy was "Ho's Down") So Clarence goes to see the pimp, shit goes down and he runs out with Alabama's suitcase. Unfortunately, or not, the suitcase he grabbed actually contains a crap-ton of cocaine. So he an Alabama set off to California in order to unload the coke and live happily ever after. Of course, they run into some problems, but you'll have to watch the movie to know what they are.
This film contains one of the all-time EPIC scenes in any movie ever. If you're a fan of I heart the 90's, then you probably know the scene I'm talking about. This one scene is worth the price of admission, but there's plenty more to this movie to keep you entertained.
Final score:
4 1/2 out of 5 John/Hooker romances
So you've got Clarence (Slater), and average guy who works at a comic book store, who meets Alabama (Arquette) at the movies. They hit it off pretty good and end up going home together. Then, Clarence finds out that Alabama's a hooker who his boss got him for his birthday. Despite this, they love each other anyway (love at first sight and all that) and get married. Clarence wants to go to Alabama's pimp's place and get her stuff (as well as take some revenge on the pimp. Apparently, his philosophy was "Ho's Down") So Clarence goes to see the pimp, shit goes down and he runs out with Alabama's suitcase. Unfortunately, or not, the suitcase he grabbed actually contains a crap-ton of cocaine. So he an Alabama set off to California in order to unload the coke and live happily ever after. Of course, they run into some problems, but you'll have to watch the movie to know what they are.
This film contains one of the all-time EPIC scenes in any movie ever. If you're a fan of I heart the 90's, then you probably know the scene I'm talking about. This one scene is worth the price of admission, but there's plenty more to this movie to keep you entertained.
Final score:
4 1/2 out of 5 John/Hooker romances
Friday, March 28, 2008
I Am Legend
I'm a bit behind on some of the newer movies, so cut me a little slack. I watched this on Wednesday night and was pretty impressed. I figured it would be another Will Smith, money making blockbuster type, but I really enjoyed it.
Basically, you get Big Willy Style and his dog for around 58 minutes. And that's all the people in the movie. However, Will carries it pretty well. Ever seen Castaway? I love Tom Hanks, but gimme a break. This film does a good job of jumping from the past to the present to explain the plot, as well as give you a sense of what it would feel like if you were the last person on earth. By the way, I totally want the dog from this movie. He rocks.
Some felt that the ending was a little weird, but I disagree. I thought it was a well designed and acted film. The special effects are a little too...blocky? but we're kind of spoiled nowadays by special effects, so I give that a pass.
I know I'm being a little cryptic on this review, but it's one of those movies that you really can't describe in detail without ruining it. Comments are most certainly welcome.
Overall score:
4 out of 5 post-Armageddon zombie limbs
Basically, you get Big Willy Style and his dog for around 58 minutes. And that's all the people in the movie. However, Will carries it pretty well. Ever seen Castaway? I love Tom Hanks, but gimme a break. This film does a good job of jumping from the past to the present to explain the plot, as well as give you a sense of what it would feel like if you were the last person on earth. By the way, I totally want the dog from this movie. He rocks.
Some felt that the ending was a little weird, but I disagree. I thought it was a well designed and acted film. The special effects are a little too...blocky? but we're kind of spoiled nowadays by special effects, so I give that a pass.
I know I'm being a little cryptic on this review, but it's one of those movies that you really can't describe in detail without ruining it. Comments are most certainly welcome.
Overall score:
4 out of 5 post-Armageddon zombie limbs
Monday, March 17, 2008
Unbelievable!
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ROAD HOUSE, OR OVER THE TOP!?!?!?!?!?!?
Ok, I'm cool with that. Not everybody had cable back in the 80's. Actually, I think my parents gave me a year round pass to our Blockbuster at the time, Movies to Go, just so I wouldn't try to explain how wierd it is that Hulk Hogan was in both Rocky 3 and Wrestlemania 3. (side trivia, what was Hogan's name in Rocky 3?) btw, I know the answer, just seeing if you did.)
OK, aside from Tango and Cash, this was the best (worst) Stallone movie (aside from Cliffhanger) (sorry for all the parentheses, but they are needed.)
Stallone, is a truck driver named Hawk. His son is a preppy kid sent to a military school after his mom gets cancer (or some other disease). Kid's mom decides it's a good idea for them to travel across the country and get to know one another. Little do we know that Hawk is also a professional arm wrestler!! That's right. How else do you expect for him to pay for gas?
Robbert Loggia, of Scarface and Big fame, plays the over-protective grandpa who just BEG'S for a tractor-trailor to get driven over his fountain and into his foyer.
The last 30 minutes of this movie are undescribably hilarious. There's the world championship of arm wrestling going on in Vegas. The villain is named Bull Hurley. One of the guys is sponsered by Ben-Gay. None of this is made up.
I'm not recommending this if you're looking for cultural enlightenment. This is Stallone at his best. Any questions?
Final verdict:
2 1/2 Frank Stallone songs
Ok, I'm cool with that. Not everybody had cable back in the 80's. Actually, I think my parents gave me a year round pass to our Blockbuster at the time, Movies to Go, just so I wouldn't try to explain how wierd it is that Hulk Hogan was in both Rocky 3 and Wrestlemania 3. (side trivia, what was Hogan's name in Rocky 3?) btw, I know the answer, just seeing if you did.)
OK, aside from Tango and Cash, this was the best (worst) Stallone movie (aside from Cliffhanger) (sorry for all the parentheses, but they are needed.)
Stallone, is a truck driver named Hawk. His son is a preppy kid sent to a military school after his mom gets cancer (or some other disease). Kid's mom decides it's a good idea for them to travel across the country and get to know one another. Little do we know that Hawk is also a professional arm wrestler!! That's right. How else do you expect for him to pay for gas?
Robbert Loggia, of Scarface and Big fame, plays the over-protective grandpa who just BEG'S for a tractor-trailor to get driven over his fountain and into his foyer.
The last 30 minutes of this movie are undescribably hilarious. There's the world championship of arm wrestling going on in Vegas. The villain is named Bull Hurley. One of the guys is sponsered by Ben-Gay. None of this is made up.
I'm not recommending this if you're looking for cultural enlightenment. This is Stallone at his best. Any questions?
Final verdict:
2 1/2 Frank Stallone songs
Friday, March 14, 2008
My first movie trashing
OK, I've gotten my feet wet in this movie reviewing thing, but any movie reviewer worth a crap knows how to rip a movie apart. So that's my next challenge, and I've picked a good one. Monster's Ball.
1st of all, this in no way reflects on the Halle Berry sex scene. I mean, she won an Oscar for that frickin scene. That's how good she was. I didn't even care that you had to watch Billy Bob Thorton in a sex scene. That's how good she was. However, as good as those 45 seconds were, it doesn't make up for the other 111 minutes and 15 seconds of putridity.
OK, I'm totally gonna blow the plot for anyone who hasn't seen the movie yet, but I don't care cause you shouldn't watch it anyway. Billy Bob's a correctional officer at a prison. Halle Berry's husband is on death row. Billy Bob's on the squad that executes her husband. Billy Bob's son shoots himself cause he thinks his dad hates him (he does). Halle's kid gets hit by a car and dies. Both their kids are dead and Halle's husband is out of the way, so they start a "forbidden" relationship and sit around eating ice cream (I'm not joking about that). That's about it. Sounds like a good time, right?
I get it, OK? Billy Bob was a racist bastard who drove his son to kill himself, but becomes transformed when he meets this woman who he has something in common with. Let me ask you, who the heck wouldn't be transformed by Halle Berry? Huh?
Seriously though, I truly do not understand how this thing was nominated for any awards. I understand artsy or gritty movies are popular with the critics, and that's fine. I've seen Schindler's List. I've seen Crash. I've seen Million Dollar Baby. All those had some form of a redeeming quality. Aside from seeing Halle Berry's hoo-ha, I didn't find any in this film.
Final rating:
1 out of 5 naked Halle Berry's
1st of all, this in no way reflects on the Halle Berry sex scene. I mean, she won an Oscar for that frickin scene. That's how good she was. I didn't even care that you had to watch Billy Bob Thorton in a sex scene. That's how good she was. However, as good as those 45 seconds were, it doesn't make up for the other 111 minutes and 15 seconds of putridity.
OK, I'm totally gonna blow the plot for anyone who hasn't seen the movie yet, but I don't care cause you shouldn't watch it anyway. Billy Bob's a correctional officer at a prison. Halle Berry's husband is on death row. Billy Bob's on the squad that executes her husband. Billy Bob's son shoots himself cause he thinks his dad hates him (he does). Halle's kid gets hit by a car and dies. Both their kids are dead and Halle's husband is out of the way, so they start a "forbidden" relationship and sit around eating ice cream (I'm not joking about that). That's about it. Sounds like a good time, right?
I get it, OK? Billy Bob was a racist bastard who drove his son to kill himself, but becomes transformed when he meets this woman who he has something in common with. Let me ask you, who the heck wouldn't be transformed by Halle Berry? Huh?
Seriously though, I truly do not understand how this thing was nominated for any awards. I understand artsy or gritty movies are popular with the critics, and that's fine. I've seen Schindler's List. I've seen Crash. I've seen Million Dollar Baby. All those had some form of a redeeming quality. Aside from seeing Halle Berry's hoo-ha, I didn't find any in this film.
Final rating:
1 out of 5 naked Halle Berry's
Thursday, March 13, 2008
For all the ladies out there
I've been made to watch a lot of movies I would have never watched before. My Mom considered herself quite the movie connoisseur, that is, before she popped out a couple of units and quit watching TV. I guess her infatuation was genetic, cause it got passed along with my Y chromosome. Yeah that's right, I have one. Which brings me to the girlie movie of the week. Victor/Victoria.
I know how much the ladies love, and the guys hate, musicals. For example, Chicago, Moulin Rougue, Dreamgirls, Footloose, etc. This movie isn't really a musical in the purist sense though. There are a few scenes where they perform musical numbers on stage. So I think guys are able to suffer through it. (Hey guys, did I mention James Garner was in this? He played a badass sheriff. Also, Alex Karras was in it. You know, Mongo from Blazing Saddles? He was Webster's dad? He played football for the Detroit Lions before getting kicked out of the league for gambling for Christ sake!!)....sorry ladies.
Anyway, Julie Andrews of German nun/slut and crazy umbrella witch fame, plays a young singer in France who can't get a shot. A gay performer, played by the incomparable Robert Preston (hey guys, psst, over here..he was the guy who was in charge of the video game in the Last Starfighter), gets a fantastic idea. Dress like a dude, and act like a female impersonator. Guess what happens. That's right, hilarity ensues.
Anyway, I'm not gonna give away much more of the plot, but here are a couple more people in the movie: Leslie Ann Warren (Ms. Scarlet from Clue) and that dude who was Indiana Jones's bodyguard when he was in Egypt. I do not remember his name.
Seriously though, I know I'm gonna be challenged on my manhood for this one, but if you can watch the last 10 minutes of this movie without cracking a smile, then you suck. And I don't like you anymore.
Final rating:
3 3/4 transvestites
I know how much the ladies love, and the guys hate, musicals. For example, Chicago, Moulin Rougue, Dreamgirls, Footloose, etc. This movie isn't really a musical in the purist sense though. There are a few scenes where they perform musical numbers on stage. So I think guys are able to suffer through it. (Hey guys, did I mention James Garner was in this? He played a badass sheriff. Also, Alex Karras was in it. You know, Mongo from Blazing Saddles? He was Webster's dad? He played football for the Detroit Lions before getting kicked out of the league for gambling for Christ sake!!)....sorry ladies.
Anyway, Julie Andrews of German nun/slut and crazy umbrella witch fame, plays a young singer in France who can't get a shot. A gay performer, played by the incomparable Robert Preston (hey guys, psst, over here..he was the guy who was in charge of the video game in the Last Starfighter), gets a fantastic idea. Dress like a dude, and act like a female impersonator. Guess what happens. That's right, hilarity ensues.
Anyway, I'm not gonna give away much more of the plot, but here are a couple more people in the movie: Leslie Ann Warren (Ms. Scarlet from Clue) and that dude who was Indiana Jones's bodyguard when he was in Egypt. I do not remember his name.
Seriously though, I know I'm gonna be challenged on my manhood for this one, but if you can watch the last 10 minutes of this movie without cracking a smile, then you suck. And I don't like you anymore.
Final rating:
3 3/4 transvestites
Poolhall Junkies
OK, 1st of all, Ben has pressured me to post a movie review blog every day for the rest of my life. I watch a lot of movies, but that's a lot of movies. Therefore, since we played some pool at C's tonight, this movie review will be about a very under-the-radar movie that I liked called Poolhall Junkies. Ben will play the part of the protagonist Johnny Doyle, and I will play his bastard staker Joe.
Ben was a virtuoso pool player. It was instinct. However, Adam realized that if Ben ever went pro, he'd not only find that he was better than the lousy poolhalls he hung around in, Adam would loose his horse. So, when the letters from the Pro Tour came around, Adam would toss them in the trash.
After awhile, Ben realized what was happening and dumped Adam like a bad meal at a mexican restaurant. (sorry, I just read about that mexican restaurant that got a 13 on the health rating scale)
Anyway, Ben realizes his worth, and the rest of the movie is about him proving Adam wrong.
There's a fantastic performance by CHRISTOPHER WALKEN!! That's right, you heard me. He plays a major role in this film. And he's awesome. Not True Romance awesome, but Walken awesome nonetheless. Adam's part is played by the always smooth Chaz Palentiere (a gangster-type, again). Also, Rod Steiger has an inspirational role.(If you don't know who this cat is, go rent In the Heat of the Night, and I mean today) One of my favorite parts of this flick is when Ben takes his kid brother to see a REAL pool tournament and all the real life pool players try to act. Seriously, you cannot pay for this kind of comedy.
To sum up, this movie is like a hybrid of Rounders and Boondock Saints. Sound weird? The Rounders part is of course from the game and the gambling and the seedy underbelly of a game we all know. The Saints part is because even though the movie looks kind of grainy and some parts of the plot make you groan inwardly, even a little, it's still a cool, refreshing movie to watch. Like a nice cold Miller Highlife after mowing the lawn.
So, here's the verdict:
3 1/2 out of 5 Walkens. Check it out. I think you'll like it.
OK, since I've done a few manly movies for my 1st couple blogs, my next one will be for all the ladiiieeeess out there. Stay tuned.
Ben was a virtuoso pool player. It was instinct. However, Adam realized that if Ben ever went pro, he'd not only find that he was better than the lousy poolhalls he hung around in, Adam would loose his horse. So, when the letters from the Pro Tour came around, Adam would toss them in the trash.
After awhile, Ben realized what was happening and dumped Adam like a bad meal at a mexican restaurant. (sorry, I just read about that mexican restaurant that got a 13 on the health rating scale)
Anyway, Ben realizes his worth, and the rest of the movie is about him proving Adam wrong.
There's a fantastic performance by CHRISTOPHER WALKEN!! That's right, you heard me. He plays a major role in this film. And he's awesome. Not True Romance awesome, but Walken awesome nonetheless. Adam's part is played by the always smooth Chaz Palentiere (a gangster-type, again). Also, Rod Steiger has an inspirational role.(If you don't know who this cat is, go rent In the Heat of the Night, and I mean today) One of my favorite parts of this flick is when Ben takes his kid brother to see a REAL pool tournament and all the real life pool players try to act. Seriously, you cannot pay for this kind of comedy.
To sum up, this movie is like a hybrid of Rounders and Boondock Saints. Sound weird? The Rounders part is of course from the game and the gambling and the seedy underbelly of a game we all know. The Saints part is because even though the movie looks kind of grainy and some parts of the plot make you groan inwardly, even a little, it's still a cool, refreshing movie to watch. Like a nice cold Miller Highlife after mowing the lawn.
So, here's the verdict:
3 1/2 out of 5 Walkens. Check it out. I think you'll like it.
OK, since I've done a few manly movies for my 1st couple blogs, my next one will be for all the ladiiieeeess out there. Stay tuned.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Road House
This movie inspired me to actually create this blog, so it's the one I'm gonna start with. Last week, I heard that Patrick Swayze was dying of pancreatic cancer. Although it turns out he's doing pretty well, I wigged out because Jeff Healy died a couple of weeks ago. I was completely surprised by how many of my friends had never seen Road House before, since it's on every weekend on TNT/TBS/USA/Spike/whatever other cable movie channel you can think of. It totally encapsulates all the great 80's action movie cliches, and does it in a totally hilarious way. (even if it's unintentionally hilarious). So here we go:
(spoiler alert: on this blog I'm going to try to give an overview of the movie's plot, as well as how much i liked/disliked it. I'll try not to ruin any endings if I can, just be warned. Of course, with movies like Road House, the plot's not exactly winning any Oscars, so you don't have much to worry about.)
So we start with the Double Deuce, a bar/club outside of Kansas City, whose clientele has become less than respectable. Fights every night, bartenders skimming from the register, chicken wire around the band, the works. How can you clean up a place like this? Easy. Call Dalton (Swayze), the best "cooler" around, '89 mullet and all. (a cooler is like a lead bouncer). He arrives at the Double Deuce and starts right in, firing waitresses who were dealing drugs, bartenders and bouncers with bad attitudes. Only problem is, the bartender he fires is the nephew of Brad Wesley, a pretty mean guy who owns the entire town. Hilarity ensues, in the way that only cheesy 80's movies are able.
This movie has it all, action, bad asses: Swayze, Terry Funk and Dalton's mentor Wade Garrett, played by the awesome Sam Elliott, hotties: the smoking Kelly Lynch (watch for the scene where she's wearing a tablecloth for a dress) and Julie Michaels (who I just found out was an accomplished stunt woman, but she doesn't do any stunts in the movie, unless you consider not hurting anyone with her atrocious acting a stunt), a monster truck, a polar bear attack, good music (RIP Mr. Healy), incredible hair and all around 80's fun. Don't get me wrong, it's incredibly over the top and makes you laugh at all the places you're not really supposed to laugh, but there's a reason men and women both like Patrick Swayze. Women like him because he's a good dancer and when he dies, he can jump into Whoopie Goldberg and you can still make out. Men like the Swayze because of his SNL skit with Chris Farley and Road House. Period.
So, if you've never seen it, I highly recommend it. It's just a fun movie to watch, even if it's in a MST3K kind of way.
Final rating: 4 out of 5 mullets
(spoiler alert: on this blog I'm going to try to give an overview of the movie's plot, as well as how much i liked/disliked it. I'll try not to ruin any endings if I can, just be warned. Of course, with movies like Road House, the plot's not exactly winning any Oscars, so you don't have much to worry about.)
So we start with the Double Deuce, a bar/club outside of Kansas City, whose clientele has become less than respectable. Fights every night, bartenders skimming from the register, chicken wire around the band, the works. How can you clean up a place like this? Easy. Call Dalton (Swayze), the best "cooler" around, '89 mullet and all. (a cooler is like a lead bouncer). He arrives at the Double Deuce and starts right in, firing waitresses who were dealing drugs, bartenders and bouncers with bad attitudes. Only problem is, the bartender he fires is the nephew of Brad Wesley, a pretty mean guy who owns the entire town. Hilarity ensues, in the way that only cheesy 80's movies are able.
This movie has it all, action, bad asses: Swayze, Terry Funk and Dalton's mentor Wade Garrett, played by the awesome Sam Elliott, hotties: the smoking Kelly Lynch (watch for the scene where she's wearing a tablecloth for a dress) and Julie Michaels (who I just found out was an accomplished stunt woman, but she doesn't do any stunts in the movie, unless you consider not hurting anyone with her atrocious acting a stunt), a monster truck, a polar bear attack, good music (RIP Mr. Healy), incredible hair and all around 80's fun. Don't get me wrong, it's incredibly over the top and makes you laugh at all the places you're not really supposed to laugh, but there's a reason men and women both like Patrick Swayze. Women like him because he's a good dancer and when he dies, he can jump into Whoopie Goldberg and you can still make out. Men like the Swayze because of his SNL skit with Chris Farley and Road House. Period.
So, if you've never seen it, I highly recommend it. It's just a fun movie to watch, even if it's in a MST3K kind of way.
Final rating: 4 out of 5 mullets
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)