Road House

This movie inspired me to actually create this blog, so it's the one I'm gonna start with. Last week, I heard that Patrick Swayze was dying of pancreatic cancer. Although it turns out he's doing pretty well, I wigged out because Jeff Healy died a couple of weeks ago. I was completely surprised by how many of my friends had never seen Road House before, since it's on every weekend on TNT/TBS/USA/Spike/whatever other cable movie channel you can think of. It totally encapsulates all the great 80's action movie cliches, and does it in a totally hilarious way. (even if it's unintentionally hilarious). So here we go:

(spoiler alert: on this blog I'm going to try to give an overview of the movie's plot, as well as how much i liked/disliked it. I'll try not to ruin any endings if I can, just be warned. Of course, with movies like Road House, the plot's not exactly winning any Oscars, so you don't have much to worry about.)

So we start with the Double Deuce, a bar/club outside of Kansas City, whose clientele has become less than respectable. Fights every night, bartenders skimming from the register, chicken wire around the band, the works. How can you clean up a place like this? Easy. Call Dalton (Swayze), the best "cooler" around, '89 mullet and all. (a cooler is like a lead bouncer). He arrives at the Double Deuce and starts right in, firing waitresses who were dealing drugs, bartenders and bouncers with bad attitudes. Only problem is, the bartender he fires is the nephew of Brad Wesley, a pretty mean guy who owns the entire town. Hilarity ensues, in the way that only cheesy 80's movies are able.

This movie has it all, action, bad asses: Swayze, Terry Funk and Dalton's mentor Wade Garrett, played by the awesome Sam Elliott, hotties: the smoking Kelly Lynch (watch for the scene where she's wearing a tablecloth for a dress) and Julie Michaels (who I just found out was an accomplished stunt woman, but she doesn't do any stunts in the movie, unless you consider not hurting anyone with her atrocious acting a stunt), a monster truck, a polar bear attack, good music (RIP Mr. Healy), incredible hair and all around 80's fun. Don't get me wrong, it's incredibly over the top and makes you laugh at all the places you're not really supposed to laugh, but there's a reason men and women both like Patrick Swayze. Women like him because he's a good dancer and when he dies, he can jump into Whoopie Goldberg and you can still make out. Men like the Swayze because of his SNL skit with Chris Farley and Road House. Period.

So, if you've never seen it, I highly recommend it. It's just a fun movie to watch, even if it's in a MST3K kind of way.

Final rating: 4 out of 5 mullets